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It’s just a ‘HOAX’

I REFER to the work that has been carried out in Stourbridge Road during the past months (years?).

I understand that Stourbridge Road has been selected as a training school for the Highways Operatives Academy of Excavation (HOAX).

Included in the syllabus of the academy are the following subjects:- How to erect traffic signs, cones and barriers in areas where no work is being carried out.

How to dig holes in the wrong place.

How to delay supplies in order that the excavations can be kept open as long as possible.

How to maintain and adjust traffic signals to ensure that red is the prominent colour.

Successful graduates can attain higher grades based on the number of drivers who lose their temper, the number of drivers who are late for appointments and the length of traffic queues.

The success of the academy can be judged by a recent statistic which revealed that the number of road openings by utility companies across England and Wales is now 2.5 million per annum.

Bemused, Bromsgrove.

10:01am Friday 18th April 2008

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