19 extremely dramatic moments from the Great British Bake Off's Patisserie week, as told by Nadiya's face

1. First up was the technical challenge, which demanded that our five bakers make cream horns. In a show already ridden with innuendo, they chose to include cream horns, made with rough puff pastry.

2. Unfortunately the bakers were less impressed by the prospect of, as Sue put it, “giving Paul the horn”. Who has actually eaten a cream horn in the last decade, aside from your great aunt? Precisely no-one. Which meant that absolutely no-one knew what they were doing.

3. Except for Ian, who proclaimed that “nothing can go wrong with a cream horn!”.

4. …Until his Black Forest cream horns fell a bit flat, despite their hearty helping of booze. Meanwhile, Nadiya’s rose concoctions raise a smile from Paul and Mary. Take that, Ian.

5. On to the next challenge: making mokatines. Moka-what? We are starting to suspect that some poor intern at the BBC is making these recipes up.

6. Apparently a mokatine is a little French cake adorned with fancy piping, fondant icing and a sprinkle of almonds. Pretty much everyone struggled, particularly Paul who somehow produced a very flat sponge.

7. This is not good enough, Paul. This is the GREAT British Bake Off, not the Mediocre British Flat Sponge Competition. Pull your socks up, lad.

8. He’s not the only one struggling with the mythical mokatine. Flora is flapping, Tamal is running late and Ian’s offering leaves a lot to be desired. Meanwhile, the Queen of Expressions comes out on top.

9. Here comes the show stopper round, in which the bakers must produce a tower of choux pastries in the shape of a nun. Obviously. Haven’t you ever seen a nun tower?

10. Tamal goes for mango and passionfruit, Paul opts for banana (risky business), Flora mixes fruit and herbs and Nadiya goes with… bubblegum. A rogue move. Will it pay off?

11. For reasons unknown, Ian calls his creation the Nun With Hidden Passions. We just threw up in our mouths a little bit.

12. Turns out nun towers were even more difficult than we ever imagined. Paul is struggling to get his banana flavour right. Flora is flapping, again. Tamal is making adorably nerdy jokes, while a nervous sweat gathers on his forehead.

13. In a cruel twist, the bakers must wait a suspenseful two hours until Paul and Mary judge their nun-tastic creations. We waited with bated breath.

14. Finally judgment hour has arrived. Tamal presents his tower of delectable delicacies. His nun tower hasn’t toppled, and Mary and Paul seem to approve of his tropical fillings. So far, so good.

15. Sadly, Nadiya’s nuns have not fared so well. It looks like the poor nun has had a little bit too much to drink and is feeling rather woozy. Nonetheless, she hasn’t toppled just yet.

16. It turns out Paul and Mary aren’t big fans of the sweet bubblegum infusion going on in Nadiya’s bake. Nor do they take to Flora’s lime and basil creations and they are serious underwhelmed by Paul’s banana calamity. IS ANYBODY SAFE?!

17. Yes, it turns out. Creepy Ian’s Nuns With Hidden Desires have won a wink of approval from Mary Berry. A Mary Berry wink!

18. It’s judgment time. Mary and Paul have had a lot to mull over, but they’ve decided on a very worthy star baker. WHO IS IT? It’s… Nadiya, of course!

19. Someone’s gotta go, and this week it’s Paul. Flora looks relieved, Tamal is visibly delighted, Ian looks smug (or is that just his resting face?) and we’re on to the semi-finals. See you next week! It’s gonna be tense…